female pigs

[Grubb Industries]

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair & sell them.

At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.

The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles.

While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass in the morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not.

"The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family Station wagon again and proceeded to try again.

This continued each morning for more than a week and both farmers were worn out.

The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."


"Neither," yelled his wife, "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn!"


Hoping this was not posted in 2005

Grubb

[jacobite]

good one lololol

[Lestat]

Good one, never heard that one before. Try this one...

It is the time of the Old West and a young kid wants to be a gun slinger, so he walks into the local saloon and spots a grizzled old gunman sitting in a chair with his back to the wall.
He fearlessly walk up to the man." Pardon me Sir, but could i ask you for some advise. I want to become a gun fighter like yourself and would appreciate some advice."
The old man looks him up and down and nods. " First off... you got to move your gun belt so that it sits lower on your hip. That way you don't have to pull up so far and can get the barrel of the gun to clear the holster faster."
So the kid does as instructed, then tests it by drawing his gun and shots the piano players hat off.
The old man smiles then says "Not bad kid. Now you got to move the holster so that it is in line with the seam of you pants. That way you can just draw straight up your leg."
Once again the kid does as told, then draws his gun and shots all the buttons off the piano player vest.
The old man give him the thumbs up, then says," Pretty good. Now find a piece of paper and line the inside of your holster, that way the gun won't get snagged on the way up."
Yet again the kid goes as told, then proceeds to draw his gun and shoots the keys underneath the piano players fingers as he plays.
The old man grins from ear to ear and sayes." You just need to do one more thing then you are set. Grease your gun barrel."
The kid looks puzzle and ask."What for?"
"Because," the old man says with a little chuckle," as soon as Bob the piano player finishes....he is going to shove that gun up your ass."

[Abberation]

LOL I like that one Lestat

[Rad]

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