it is tough being old

An 85 year old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The DR. gave the man a jar and said, "take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85 year old man reappeared at the dr's office and gave him the jar, which was clean and empty as on the previous day. The dr asked what happened, the man explained "well, it's like this....First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, still nothing. then I asked my wife for help.

She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing..

We even called Arleen, the lady next door. First she tried with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor?"

Yup, said the old man. We couldn't get the freaking jar open.