Three guys are forced parachute from a burning plane onto an island. They are quickly caught by a bunch of cannibals. The leader of the cannibals says: "I will spare your lives if you can complete 2 tasks for me otherwise we will eat you on the spot."
"The first task is to collect ten items of fruit or vegetable from anywhere on the island." So the guys go off in three different directions with cannibal escorts to search.
A few minutes later the first man returns carrying ten apples, and the second task is laid before him
"You must push all ten apples up your bum without making a single sound!" says the cheif cannibal. So with little choice the first man begins....
1... 2... 3... 4... 5 "OUCH" he shouts and sure enough he is torn limb from limb and eaten by the cannibals.
5 minutes later after the meal the second man returns with 10 berries and is given the second task. So off he goes...
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... Suddenly the second man burst into laughter and is torn limb from limb and eaten.
When the second man reaches heaven he is greeted by the first man who is itching to ask him a question
WHY OH WHY when you had such an easy task did you start laughing????"
The guy that laughed hysterically replied, "I looked towards the forest and saw the third guy carrying three huge WATERMELONS!!!"
Three men, white black and hispanic, walking in the desert, one of them finds a lamp. A genie come out and offers each one wish.
"I wish all african american would return back to africa." says the black man
"as you wish" says the genie
"I wish all hispanics would go back to spain."
"as you wish" says the genie
"no black people or hispanics in america?" says the white man "I guess i'll have a coke"
(i'm not racist, just found it funny)
three women are suck on a desert island. A redhead, a brunet, and a blond. one of them finds a lamp. a genie comes out and grants each one wish
"I miss my faimly" says the redhead, "I want to go home"
the genie does as he is told
"I want to see my family" says the brunet, "I want to go home too"
the genie does as he is told
"I miss my friends" the blond says crying, "I wish they were here with me"
here is a couple of jokes for you guy's 😆 😆
A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing."
The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?"
"A month."
"Why did you wait so long to report it?"
"Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream."
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started to discuss
the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
"I know!" said a third...
"They use it to find the fire hydrant!"
A blonde and her Husband are laying in bed watching TV, they are
watching an old western. The Husband says to the Blonde "I bet you
breakfast in bed, that the wagon hits a rock and the rider falls out
dead," " Your on." Says the blonde. They watch the western further
and sure enough the wagon comes across a rock in the path, and the
rider falls out of the wagon dead.
The blonde gets out of bed and returns with a tray full of food.
After eating the husband says "I have to admit that I saw this movie
before."
The Blonde smiles. " I saw the movie before too. But I didn't think the
blonde was stupid enough to ride over the same rock twice."
A Blonde bought a brand new Car and decided to drive down from some
place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up
her mother to expect her in the evening. But she didn't reach home in
the evening and not the next day either.
When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother
ran and asked her "What Happened?"
She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,
"Oy, ye these car designers, these people are crazy! They have four
gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"
here is some jokes for you guy's tell me what you think 😆 😆
KILLER BEE wrote: A man calls into the police station and says, "My wife is missing."
The officer asks, "How long has she been gone?"
"A month."
"Why did you wait so long to report it?"
"Well, until yesterday I thought it was just a dream."
A woman walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I hurt all
over."
The doctor says, "That's impossible!"
She explains, "When I touch my arm, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my
leg,
ouch, it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch, it hurts. When I touch my
chest, ouch, it hurts."
The doctor just shakes his head and asks, "You're a natural blonde,
aren't
you?"
The woman smiles and says, "Why, yes I am. How did you know?"
The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."
A blonde called in a repairman to fix her electric clock.
He examined it and told her, "There's nothing wrong with the clock.
You didn't have it plugged in Blondie."
She replied, "I don't want to waste electricity,
so I only plug it in when I want to know what time it is."
Blonde Moments!
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss
concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically,
"What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies... "Early this morning
I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl.
"Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy just take
the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly states..."No.. I'd be better off here. I need to
keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual... "If you need
anything just let me know."
Well... a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the
blonde...he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically
crying!!!!!
He rushes out to her asking, "What's so bad now... are you gonna be
okay??"
"No..." exclaims the blonde, "I just received a horrible call from my
sister and she said that her mom died too!!"
i hope it is ok too put the jokes here i just thought they where funny 😆
What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Charger wrote What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
:peace_v: :peace_v: :peace_v: :peace_v:
Charger wrote: What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
Ouch :eek2:
Charger wrote:
What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
bison wrote
Ouch LOL 😆 😆
KILLER BEE wrote: Charger wrote:
What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
bison wrote
Ouch LOL 😆 😆
Hey K_B, To get the quote box to show up, click on the word "quote" in the upper right hand corner of the post that you want to quote.
:peace_v:
ok thanx man
why did the turkey cross the road ?????????????
because the chicken was on vacation !! hehehehehehe
What is the difference between a Priest and acne?
Acne don't come on your face until you're a teenager.
Charger wrote: What is the difference between a Priest and acne?
Acne don't come on your face until you're a teenager.
:eek2:
{DOU} -=Bi§oN=- wrote: [quote=Charger]What is the difference between a Priest and acne?
Acne don't come on your face until you're a teenager.
:eek2:
lol 😆 😆
LMFAO
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