NURSING HOME POLICE

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel, and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. It was only because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic that the other residents tolerated her, and in fact some of the male patients actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened

and Crazy Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "Stop!" he

shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"

Ethel fished around her pocketbook and pulled out a Kit Kat

wrapper, and held it up to him.

"OK" he said, and Ethel sped away down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird

Willie popped out in front of her and shouted "Stop! Have you got proof

of insurance?"

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held

it up to him.

Willie nodded and said, "Carry on, Missy."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy

Charlie stepped out in front of her, stark naked, and I might add with a

sizable erection.

"Oh good grief," cried Ethel, "not the Breathalyser again!"