Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex
Do not spray in eyes.
Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.
Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.
Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children
Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.
Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchasenecessary.Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as
opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
-------------------o00o---°(_)°---o00o----------------------
*DARKMATTER* wrote: On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
My balls would stop it... :eek2:
T
LooOOooL Dang !!!!... Hard work ! 🙄 😉
Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.
Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.
Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness
Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.
Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.
Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.
Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.
Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.
RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe
Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire
Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption
Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume
Hair Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.
Road Sign
Caution water on road during rain.
Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.
Road Sign
Cemetery Road. Dead End
Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park
Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often
Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold
American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.
Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.
Hershey's Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts
Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food
Beach Ball
CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.
Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children
Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.
Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado
Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.
Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.
Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.
500-piece puzzle
Some assembly required.
Fire Extinguisher
Caution: Non-Flamable.
Disposable razor
Do not use this product during an earthquake.
Bottle of shampoo for dogs
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
Curling Iron
Warning: This product can burn eyes.
Hair Dryer
Do not use in shower.
Hair Dryer
Do not use while sleeping.
Hand-held Massaging Device
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.
A toilet at a public sports facility
Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.
Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Container of Underarm Deodorant.
Caution: Do not spray in eyes.
Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.
Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.
Toner cartridge for a laser printer
Do not eat toner.
13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow
Not intended for highway use.
Can of self-defense pepper spray.
May irritate eyes.
Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.
A frisbee
Warning: May contain small parts.
A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
Do not use orally.
A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Heated seat cushion
Warning: Do not use on eyes.
Electric Cattle Prod
For use on animals only.
Can of air freshener.
For use by trained personnel only.
Silly Putty
Do not use as ear plugs.
Knife sharpening stone
Warning: knives are sharp!
Deodorant
Do not use intimately.
Rat Poison
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Portable stroller
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
Dashboard of a mail truck
Look before driving.
Children's cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Bottom of a supermarket dessert box
Do not turn upside down.
Package of dice.
Not for human consumption.
Microwave Oven
Do not use for drying pets.
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