retirement check

The Navy found they had too many officers

and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They

promised any officer who volunteered for

retirement a bonus of $1,000 for

every inch measured in a straight line

between any two points

on his body. The officer got to choose what

those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that

he be measured from the top of his

head to the t ip of

his toes. He was measured at six feet and

walked out with a bonus of

$72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little

smarter and asked to be measured from the tip

of his outstretched hands to his toes. He

walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a noncommissioned

officer, a grizzly old Chief who,

when asked where he would

like to be measured replied, "From

the tip of my weenie to my

testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that

he might want to reconsider,

explaining about the nice big

checks the previous two Officers had received.

But the old Chief insisted and they de

cided to go along with him

providing the measurement was taken by a Medical

Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and

instructed the Chief to "drop 'em,"

which he did. . .The Medical

Officer placed the tape measure on the

tip of the Chief's weenie and

began to work back. "Dear

Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed,

"Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied,

"Vietnam".