The airborne parachutist is making his first jump.
However, he forgot how to open the parachute. He is getting closer to the ground and looks around helplessly.
Suddenly he sees a soldier flying up from below. He calls to him - Help! How to open a parachute?
The soldier just shrugs and responds - I do not know, I'm a sapper!
Husband returns home in the morning.
Wife asks him - Where have you been so long?
- You know, I was at John, we played chess and it took a while. If you do not believe me, call him and ask - he will definitely confirm.
Wife's calling - Hi John, was my husband last night at your home?
- Of course. He is still with me, we are just finishing the game of chess.
😉
:banghead:
Tommy post_id=82660 time=1554526956 user_id=4 wrote: :banghead:
Looking at the emoticon above, I remembered the joke:
Two jerks are working on the renovation of the house. One of them tries to stick nails into the wall holding them with the head facing the wall and hitting the tip with a hammer. Of course, the nails bend each time. His partner watches him and says, "Man, you took the wrong nails - these are to the opposite wall." :loco:
A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that! :peace_v:
vioguez post_id=82924 time=1572974518 user_id=1637 wrote:
A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that! :peace_v:
😆
Two six-year-olds are playing in the yard in front of the house. One of them says to the other - I saw a condom at home under the radiator today. The second one asks - What is a radiator? 🙄
There is such a superstition that if salt spills at home, it is an omen of marital quarrel.
The wife just spilled salt in the kitchen and says to her husband - Oh, salt spilled to me - we will definitely quarrel.
Husband - But honey, nothing happened, I will clean up and there will be no quarrel.
Wife - But I've already set myself up! :smash:
I have a joke. But it doesn't make money, cause it doesn't make cents.
:loco: ::DancingBanana:: ::DancingBanana:: ::DancingBanana::
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes! 
A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. "Why?" "Because," the doctor says. "I'm trying to examine you."
.
When I came home from work, my wife left a letter on the fridge. The note said,"It's not working. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to my mum's place."
I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold … what the hell was she on about?
.
Teacher - “Why are you late, Johnny?”
Johnny - “Because of a sign down the road.”
Teacher - “What does a sign have to do with you being late?”
Johnny - “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”
----------------
Teacher asked Johhny - “How can you prove the earth is round?”
Johnny replied - “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was!”
---------------
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother - “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”
The mother exclaimed - “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied - “My homework.”
😀
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