The Joke of the Day

vioguez post_id=82957 time=1575467608 user_id=1637 wrote:
A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. "Why?" "Because," the doctor says. "I'm trying to examine you."

This really happened to me once! :loco:

T

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down sir, first make sure that he's really dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

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NATAN post_id=83177 time=1594069282 user_id=1729 wrote:
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down sir, first make sure that he's really dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

.

::HYST::

A married couple went to a sexologist for advice. The sexologist talked to them for a while and then asked the husband to leave, as he only wanted to talk to his wife. From talking to his wife, he learned that her husband was neglecting her and did not want to have sex. So he invited her husband to his office and told his wife to wait outside.

- "Sir, you must take more care of your wife," - he said to her husband.

- "It means?" - the husband asked.

- "Well, you have to have sex with her at least once a week."

- "But if I don't feel like having sex, what will happen to her? - investigated husband.

The sexologist said - "Hmm, ... she might even die."

The husband left the office, and the wife said to him - "What did the therapist tell you?"

- "He said that you will die".

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." :peace_v:

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Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A. A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.