1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
".::/3I§ON wrote: 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
Somebody forgot their calculator.
T
".::/3I§ON wrote: 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
JFC, will somebody at least get this guy an abacus? TY.
T
I guess u don't like Larry 
Not a big fan myself. Out of the 4 on the Blue collar comedy thing I only like Ron White (or however his name is spelled).
".::/3I§ON wrote: I guess u don't like Larry
Not a big fan myself. Out of the 4 on the Blue collar comedy thing I only like Ron White (or however his name is spelled).
I can't say that I don't like him as I really don't know him all that much. I know he has a movie out on PPV right now that I see advertised all the time that looks really bad.
What it is that I really don't like is when someone is lazy in their humor. It is mathematically impossible to average any group of numbers (including the same number just 2x) and have any part of the result equal 50%. Remember, to get an average, you take the different numbers, add them together, and then divide that number by the number of numbers you added together. Thus it is impossible to have any number equal 50%. For example the average of 7 and 3 is 5 represented as:
7 +3 = 10 / 2 = 5
You started off with 2 groups of people but in creating an average you wind up with 3. The average must equal at least .01%, and the other 2 groups must be equal, thus 50% is impossible. Now, for more numbers the math gets a bit more complicated when figuring out what % each of the remaining groups will represent, but no number will ever be 50%.
The other one is easier. If you scare someone half to death twice. Half of a half is a quarter.
I guess this stuff is funny if you don't think about it, lol.
Yeah, I know, I am a kill-joy. 🙂
T
Tommy wrote: [quote=".::/3I§ON]I guess u don't like Larry
Not a big fan myself. Out of the 4 on the Blue collar comedy thing I only like Ron White (or however his name is spelled).
I can't say that I don't like him as I really don't know him all that much. I know he has a movie out on PPV right now that I see advertised all the time that looks really bad.
What it is that I really don't like is when someone is lazy in their humor. It is mathematically impossible to average any group of numbers (including the same number just 2x) and have any part of the result equal 50%. Remember, to get an average, you take the different numbers, add them together, and then divide that number by the number of numbers you added together. Thus it is impossible to have any number equal 50%. For example the average of 7 and 3 is 5 represented as:
7 +3 = 10 / 2 = 5
You started off with 2 groups of people but in creating an average you wind up with 3. The average must equal at least .01%, and the other 2 groups must be equal, thus 50% is impossible. Now, for more numbers the math gets a bit more complicated when figuring out what % each of the remaining groups will represent, but no number will ever be 50%.
The other one is easier. If you scare someone half to death twice. Half of a half is a quarter.
I guess this stuff is funny if you don't think about it, lol.
Yeah, I know, I am a kill-joy. 🙂
T
It's much more easier to accept if you keep in mind this type of humor wasn't intended to to be taken as a literal mathmatical equation but as a figurative one.
I'm sure he meant a half and a half where you interpreted it as a half from a half.
-JB
I am almost sorry I posted it.......................almost 😈
".::/3I§ON wrote: I am almost sorry I posted it.......................almost 😈
No, you're not. 😈
6 and 12 made me laugh out loud 8)
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