3rd hardest desission in 7 years ive had to make

hi all ive had to come to a desission one ive never had to face before until now the sence of leting somone down my dog one of the worst in 7 years

had to let me dog go yesterday at 4.30 the lady came from animal aid she was a very nice lady called fiona

had to tell them my situation with my health over the fone a couple of days ago with my discs in spine and neck and other health problems thankfully didnt have to go into detail

was the vets that gave me the animal aid number so gave them a call exsplained my situation about my dog and he would be 15 years old on the 2nd of november this year

always kept him well said he was the worst treated dog out of his litter left to roam and starved to death right down to skin and bone at times he

was my girlfriends dog for a few years before he choose me to be his owner throu out our relationship of a couple of years when it ended some years ago

so took on the responceability of keeping him i just missed him to much to let him stay and like i say he choose me not the other way around lol

he has caused me alot of phisical and emotinel pain over the years and ive worried myself sick over him over the years when he has ran of it was just in him from a pup

and the way he was treated before he was mine when he moved from one spot to another to ly down he always groned and moaned and sied or if he was listening to someone talking in the other side of the room he always exspriesed his feelings and thots on what was said

we just knew each other so well when you take on the responcebility of and animal it is a big comitment and its for life not christmass like the advert says on tv

i never said goodbye to him as i didnt want him to go i stay on the 3rd floor top flat ive tried and tried and tried with the council to get a ground floor house or flat even with all my disabilitys letters from my doctor and ocupational therapists and physiiotherapy department still no sign of a house

and with starting new medicine on monday and i will be well doped up and not able to go up and down stairs or cross a road with him ive had to let him

go he panics and is incecure when we cant see each other or when he sleeps in bedroom or livingroom he has to pop his head up to see me then he goes back to sleep

my heart and head is so empty and our house is so quiet empty and cold hes been abandoend again and let down and dumped in a kennal and hes back to square one like he was years ago

i said we would be together till the end i never thought id have to give him up i just thought we would get by and manage what life throws at us he wont understand why hes there or what he has done wrong

if hes been a bad boy again he just didnt no what was hapening with him and why i wasnt coming with him he was just looking cofused and wondering what was happening with us why his daddy wasnt comeing with him

7 years we havent left each others side i went out for milk today when i came out of the shop there was no dog waging his tale and barking away as i came out of the shop

and heading back home was weird no zak to watch over and make sure he was safe or maybe he was the one watching me lol

my life is so empty again and my daughter jasmines mother is a year dead she past away in germany and thats hard on my daughter

jasmines not foned or on facebook so i dont know hows she is shes not foneing as much as she used to which i hope is a good thing

as shes bad with her depression she is geting out more just now and with her pals which is great you just get used to the fone calls at all hours of the day and knight and wake up with a panic incase you havent herd the fone or not lolol

everyone says and myself included when you grow up you,ll understand

and as we grow up and we learn about life with your teenage years in school finding lassies and boys and learning about breaking your heart with tears that your boyfriend or girlfriend has just ended it with you or you with them

and who you hoped would ask you up for a dance and youve sweated your nutts of trying to find the courage in front of your school palls to ask a lady up for a dance

and your mum and dad has just given you a crash course in how to chatup your sweet heart and everyone else who happens to be in the livingroom at the same time

is asking you why and youve just sweated buckets and got all the hairgel all over the sink and you think you should try to shave and youve got cuts from saving for the first time

cause you think it makes you more of a man at that point in time then you finaly get the courage near the end of the knight then you walk across the floor and pray you dont get told beat it infront of the hole class

and you try to act hard and say it dont bother you infront of the whole class for the rest of the year lol

then its like its no time at all has gone buy that its the next highschool dance again but you think i will be flier this time and ask the ladies out ahead of the time to dance with you at the dance

anyway on and on it goes like life on and on it goes you just have to suck it in and move on but you have to talk about it and i think thats the key you talk about it dont just dismiss it there is help out there this planet is amazing full of wonderful things

open the door and jump out and say here i am and whats next well thats up to you just open the door god bless 😀